Disorder lyrics

my little story's growing way too long
i've had to suffer
enough to write this song
and if i get the chance
i'll tell you how it feels
cause in this sick old head
the pain is way to real
so i fall down
i don't know
if i can make it up this time
i know i want to but it gets
harder every time
and if it's easier
to give up everything
i'd give it all to you
to relieve half this pain
cause it's been hard
yeah it's been hard
i sit there at the bar
i wonder what i've done
should i just fuck it all
or should i
go back home
cause if i take that drink
i might as well just die
and if i kill myself
i'd be giving up my try