How To Dismantle A Career

Review Score: (2/10)
The Basics

Customary post-1984 terrible electric rhythm tones: Check
Guitars up too loud in mix: Check
Dreadful singing: Check
Lack of album flow: Check
Logical opener in 6th position: Check
Worst song crammed at end of album: Check

The Monkey Factor

Monkeys could have written better lyrics: Check
Monkeys could have written better chords: Check
Monkeys could have played them better, too: Check
Band members resemble monkeys on album cover: Check

By The Numbers

Number of times Adam Clayton did not play the root note: Zero
Number of songs in any timing other than 4/4: Zero
Number of songs with a solid melodic idea: Zero
Number of songs that could have had a solid melodic idea: Zero
Number of ideas in any form (besides "this will sell millions"): Zero
Number of songs I can remember anything about: Zero

From Those Who Bought This Drivel And Love It Anyway

Buzz from coworkers: "Their best since The Joshua Tree"
Current position on Billboard Hot 100: 14
Sales to date: 3 million
Chances for Grammy Awards: 100%

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