Velvet Revolver

Contraband

Over-hyped, muddled and perpetrating a fraud...

Review Score: StarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStar (4/10)
I like the works of these guys and during the "Appetite for Destruction" days, Slash was probably the most creative talent we were hearing guitar-wise aside from Joe Satriani.

However, there's not any sense in making a comparison, because they are two different bands. STP, honestly, I was never a huge fan...of course I don't think you need to be to judge this. I did like some of their work a lot, so it's not like I disliked them and it contributes to anything bad here.

Okay, so I'll get to the point. I play guitar and have for twenty-one years...to justify my criticisms. I also have a business degree (two as a matter of fact) and I know that "hype" sells. If we hear enough of how great something is, it's easy to follow...America is full of sheep...just look at the lack of tolerance when someone dissents and all the sudden is labeled Un-patriotic these days (and yeah, I was in the Army too, as a volunteer, so I'm not un-patriotic...) of course this is not supposed to be about me...

This has only a couple tunes that really stand out ("sucker train blues" and "slither," for me). Unless I trained myself to know the songs, I would have a hard time determining which I was listening to as far as some of the others are concerned. On the production end, maybe that is part of the problem.

Everything sounds so polished and maybe these guys should have just sat up with their instruments in a garage or the living room and left the sales and marketing pukes out, because the only song I thought had a raw edge was slither...a lot of the others, and to a certain extent, slither also, were like orchestrations-very polished, immaculately played, plastic, soul-less, muddled music in which nothing stood out.

A week ago I went to listen to my neighbor play with a group of these country-bluegrass freaks and when I walked in there were four guys playing guitar, the bass player (my neighbor) and a mandolin and banjo player. Honestly, nothing stood out and this album reminds me of that. Both STP and GNR had a lot of music that stood out, and maybe these guys next attempt will be better, but if everything was more on the level of slither, or they worked to define each song as distinctly different from the last, something that might come out and slap you across the face would exist here.

For guys who are bellowing crap like "greatest rock band ever" and all this, I'm going to be so arrogant as to make some suggestions. Maybe start with Slash's work on Appetite for Destruction , then listen to Ozzy Osbourne's original (not the Sharon Osbourne remasters) of "Blizzard of Oz" and "Diary of a Madman," then finish it off with the Best of the Doors, anything by Led Zepellin, Satriani's "Surfing with the Alien," Robin Trower's "Bridge of Sighs," Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic," Nirvana's "Nevermind," Hendrix' "Axis: Bold as Love," Michelle Shocked's "Short, Sharp Shocked" (an artist whose first recording was done on a walkman sitting on a fence at some folk festival), Green Day's "Dookie," Stevie Ray Vaughn's first couple releases...need I go on?

And for the little puke dissing Randy Rhoads in all capitals on the Blizzard of Oz page here...I hope someone puts your head through a wall because that's what rock and roll is sometimes...this album is not.

Okay, off of my big a** soap box. I hope they have more variety live or this band will tour just on name recognition. There's nothing wrong with rocking on as you move on, but for all the talent here, I just expected more...

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